I surprisingly have a lot of feelings, I’m just used to bottling them up or stifling them and generally not really allowing them to escape. Was I always this way? No. There are many different experiences that have slowly caused to me to be more cautious and hesitant with my feelings.
As of late, through the help of talking to someone about all these things, I’m getting a little better at “feeling.”
The problem is part of me feels guilty for starting to feel happy and more positive. I struggled for so long doing all the wrong things and allowing the wrong kind of people into my life that now it may seem strange that i’m suddenly becoming a better version of myself.
Changes don’t happen overnight and I know that, i’ve slowly seen myself start to change over the last few months. That doesn’t mean I don’t remember what I felt like to be hurt, alone, and unable to express my feelings. I just need to learn how to feel these things while not losing sight of where i’ve come from. and I know that everyone is fighting their own battle, even ones you may not understand or realize. I can attest to that.