I am just trying to find myself.

I remember feeling lost. Constantly feeling lost. I would be lying, if I told you I didn’t feel that way every now and again. Its the worst feeling you could possibly feel.

Lonely, drained, worthless, useless, dark, cold-hearted, LOST! Its as if, someone kidnapped you. Stuck you in the middle of woods at night. Without a flashlight. Without a map. Without any knowledge of where you are. No hints. Nothing! And just told you to find your way back.

Its not easy. Not one bit. And I’m still trying to find my way back. Its been 6 years. But every now and then my mind decides to rest in a peaceful place and sometimes it could stay there for hours, days, weeks, sometimes even months. But eventually it has to start searching again.

I don’t know what for! I don’t know why it cant stay where its at. But its searching for something maybe, answers. I don’t know. But I know its ready to be free of these thoughts and the faster it can find my way back home, the faster it can ease itself.

I’m ready to be eased of pain, anger, hate, revenge. This cold dark place my mind sends me. I’m not that kind of person. And I hate that it makes me feel this way.

I swear I’m not crazy!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I am just trying to find myself.

  1. Hi Faye, I know you don't feel okay padin.. but I hope makahanap ka muna ng diversion, && your best friends, kahit papaano it can lessen yung sadness m.. sa una masakit talaga, pero sbi sakin kung gusto ni Lord na ibigay sayo sya, ibibigay nya.. kung hindi, baka may MAS deserving pa, yung di ka iiwan ng ganyan.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s